Usually I am over-the-moon excited for the controlling schedules of school to come to an end. I drool when I hear the word "summer." We do our "summer goals" (HERE and HERE) and we are productive and still work in some lazy/fun stuff.
But this year I'm kind of freaking out.
I think the reason is that I'm not ready. I've been flying by the seat of my pants way too long. I don't have my summer mapped out. We haven't prepared for our summer goals. And most of all, my kids aren't listening to me.
And that is a bad combination.
Boy oh boy, I have been dishing out lectures right and left to my those sweeties of mine like they are going out of style the last week or two.
And I'm pretty sure by now that the lecture tactic isn't working:) By the end of my rants I realize it's not even those cutie pie kids who are not listening anyway that I'm mad at (well, kind of), but it's ME I'm more mad at because I'm the one who isn't following through. And I'm the one not training them well enough. I'm the one who says things like, "It's time to go! Everyone in the car!" and I don't get in the car because I'm trying to finish off thirteen things before I get there. So of course they don't believe that it's really time to get in the car.
I get it.
But I need to do something about it.
Man, parenting is no cakewalk I tell you!
I'm the one not disciplined enough to get enough sleep so I can be peaceful and "SHINE," which, by the way, is my "one word" for this year. I can't seem to get my act together enough to even write about all my thoughts and grand visions about it. I LOVE that word. But man alive, I'm not doing it. I think that's why I haven't carved out time to write about it yet this year. What I'm envisioning and what is happening aren't in sync. Not even close.
Anyway, there I go on my ranting again...
There's this weird chain of events that goes on: My heart races trying to get things done, then I stay up way too late trying to get those darn things done so that tomorrow can be all calm and peaceful. But then tomorrow comes and I'm too tired and grumpy for any shining and peacefulness and then I look around and get frustrated that we still don't have any window coverings or toilet paper holders.
Or towel hooks.
And the whole group of decisions I was supposed to make the day before are still waiting impatiently for me to go ahead and wrap them up already.
So, today, this last full day before that last school bell rings at noon tomorrow, freeing us from school craziness, I need to get my act together. I've been calling some of my example friends: The ones who's kids' eyes don't go into rotation when they push them and make them memorize or when they make them sit down and read a book or practice for three hours (for reals I do have a friend who's kids practice for three hours a day...nicely and with no eye-rolling).
Summer can be a lot of pressure. Of course it's good to relax and enjoy that wonderful time we get to have together (can't wait! that's what Bear Lake is all about). But I want so much for this to be productive time too. I want to concentrate on getting piles of books read and doing some adventures that mean something. And that stuff needs to be planned out.
Maybe my biggest problem is that I just don't want this precious time to slip away and look back and realized we let it slip by.
Summer time is golden time. I want so much to take advantage of every second I get these kids to myself. I just need to gear up the right way.
Please send ideas on over if you have them. For now I'm off to browse through the Parenting Breakthrough and check out the awesome summer ideas at Power of Moms HERE (they always have the best ones...love you Sar!). I just skimmed my summer stuff from a couple years ago back HERE complete with job/journal jars and all that jazz and I'm starting to calm down a little. phew.
I just need to remember to breathe and remember "life is long." (my favorite quote from my wise mother.)