Lately I have this growing dread growing in my heart.
It's related to my son.
My one and only.
Because my heart sinks every time I think about the fact that he will graduate from high school in a year and a half.
And he will leave us.
And the dynamics of our family will change.
I envision us all slouching around in depression.
Because we will miss him like the dickens.
But instead of wallowing in that dread, I'm trying to celebrate all the greatness of having a son around. Because man alive, this boy brings a whole bunch of them.
Don't tell them I told you this, but he and his friends are kind of big goofballs.
And I love them for it. I'm so grateful for goofy and smily rather than sullen and moody (which I'll admit does sometimes come out, but not that often).
They wear around these crazy "animal" shirts from Walmart and post goofy things on Instagram.
This was Max's favorite Christmas gift:
He bought this one with some Christmas cash he had.
...even after I let him know it was hideously ugly :) He just smiled and told me that's why he loves it.
He has another couple, one of which cracks me up because he claimed it was his "good luck charm" for finals before Christmas. See it here?:
He had so much luck on his tests the first day wearing that thing that he announced he was just going to HAVE to wear it the next day too.
This is the text he sent Dave after he found out the grade on his last final:
Kind of made me tear up a little bit to be honest. He worked soooo hard this semester with all his honors classes.
Yeah, I guess I kind of like the goat shirt too :)
Our high school didn't do a winter formal this year, but kind of fun for Max that he got asked to go to a Winter Formal at another school.
(Girls' choice is harder than boys' choice because I can't barge in and take pictures like I did at Homecoming back HERE...I just have to take what I can get, and that was it.)
Then he got asked to our MORP (prom backwards, girls' choice, less formal dance) at Christmas and even posed how I told him to before opening all the gifts his cute date left here while we were gone to church.
They already had their "day date:"
And the real dance is in a couple weeks (I think).
I may have posted this before but I love this picture Lucy drew of she and Max because that's just how they look when they are together...most especially the smiles, but Max's pointy hair is pretty authentic too:)
Speaking of spiky hair, I get to be his hairdresser.
For Christmas Max gave Dave and I a bunch of stuff he made in his "clay" class at school (the only elective he could fit in that he has really liked).
I love the pots most.
I don't want it to sound like this boy of mine is a perfect, goofy soul. We sure have had our issues over the years. He's my child I think I got most mad at in his pre-teens...my angry face close to his telling him all kinds of things that were infuriating me. He was (and still is) very stubborn (he takes after his mama), and hesitant and shy to talk to adults (again, just like his mama when I was his age). He can get super frustrated (again, from his mama...I once kicked a hole in my bedroom wall when I was his age...wait, did I just admit that??).
Dave and I worried because he was content to sit home and not do anything with friends (now we can scarcely keep him home), we worried he wouldn't have enough motivation (he is now one of our hardest workers), we worried ourselves sick about every little thing (and still do...I think that's the nature of parenthood, especially on your first-born).
But I love how all the frustrating and worrying times have mellowed over the years and have melded in to a beautiful tapestry of who we are now. We have both grown and been humbled in so many ways.
And when that boy who now towers over me with a kind smile on his face puts his arm around me before running out the door sporting one of his animal shirts, I wonder how I will ever be able to let him go.