My “word” for 2013 came to me as I was driving down the street right past my children's school one sunny day in early January. (More on what the “one word” dealio is here.)
Of course, as usual, I had a bunch of word options swirling around in my mind. There is so much I want to work on. But this “one word” thing is meant to keep my ambitions a little more simple and focused.
I had been stressing out about a lot of things.
I always stress out about a lot of things.
And sometimes that gets tiring, I tell you.
It’s not just the regulars: getting kids where they need to be, people who need attention, emails that need to be answered, children that need more love, teachers that need to be talked to, books that need to be read, etc.
It’s also the regret kind of things: “I should have done this,” or “Why didn’t I help with _______(fill in the blank)” or “why couldn’t I have done that better?” Things I can’t change. Things that I need to get over and not use my energy worrying about. Things that squelch the quiet tranquility I’m aiming for.
So, as the sun filtered through my windshield and I raced to wherever I was going that early January morning, my mind filled with “should haves” and “wish I would haves” like usual. Then all of a sudden it was like things stopped for a minute and the word “peace” entered my mind so clearly and unmistakably I knew that was the all-encompassing word I needed to fill my “spaces” in 2013.
I know it’s become a trite word.
I know it’s been way over-used and over-commercialized.
I know when people think of the word “peace” these days the vision that probably most likely comes to mind is a huge tie-dyed peace sign.
But that’s not the kind of peace I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the peace that Christ talks about when he says, “Peace, be still” and calms the troubled waters of the sea. “And there was a great calm” it says in Mark 4:39 after Christ commands all that chaotic turbulence to stop. I want to be that calm. I want to somehow transform my ever-moving thoughts and swirling worries and remember God is in charge. I can do the best I can, and I need to let Him help me with the rest.
I am in love with this blog post my sister forwarded to me about “Drops of Awesomeness.” If you haven’t read it yet, you must. It will change the way you think about life. I love how she talks about everything good that we do is a “drop of awesome” filling up our bowl. We don’t need to be consumed with the things we should have done, or wish we could do. We just need to concentrate on the fact that we can do some things and we can do them well. And that is “awesome.” I love her analogy that even at the end of the day our little “drops” don’t do a whole lot to fill up a big bowl. But that’s where the Atonement comes in. She likens the Atonement to a big pitcher of water that fills our bowls to overflowing. All that stuff we can’t get to is taken care of. Christ paid for it already. We just need to believe that and have the peace to go forward in faith.
I snuck out of primary singing time in church yesterday for a few minutes to grasp a few minutes of the class going in in the room next door. The teacher had the chalkboard divided in two columns. One was for feelings from God, things like love, happiness, forgiveness, harmony, light and Peace. The other side was jumbled with words describing things the adversary makes us feel: fear, worry, darkness, anger, etc.
It made me think back to the scripture we memorized a few weeks ago in 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.”
That “sound mind” is what I’m going for.
Eleanor Roosevelt said, “It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it.”
I do believe in it. And this year I’m going to work on having it more. In the column of my scriptures next to the “Peace, be still” verse I wrote in chicken scratch years ago these words: “ sometimes this is like our lives…we can call on the Holy Ghost to calm the storms. We must have faith.
So I’m going forward with faith in 2013 that I can be still and have the peace that comes with knowing that my “drops of awesome” are making a difference. And that all the rest is taken care of.