Monday, August 16, 2010

you be the judge: ANOTHER new book

Ok, so my parents are writing another new parenting book. (This one and the other one I posted about back here will be coming out in the spring.) This new(er) book is written specifically for members of our faith, but really, I think there are so many universal things in it for everyone who believes in God.

I'm posting the outline I have of the table of contents, even though I know that since this draft things have been changed a little (my sisters and I edited it all together while my parents took care of all our kids one day up at Bear Lake).

It'll still give you a good idea of what it's all about.

They would love any feedback they can get as they try to put on the finishing touches this week.

So, here you go:

Are there spiritual solutions for parenting problems?

Should "believing" parents rely on a different level of insight and behavior than those who base their parenting models entirely on secular principles?

Should Mormon parents, with their unique perspectives of a family-centric premortal life and a family centered afterlife approach parenting differently than other parents?

These are just some of the questions that will leap to the mind of readers when they pick up Richard and Linda Eyre's new book next Spring, entitled "5 SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS FOR EVERYDAY PARENTING CHALLENGES"

Introduction: Insights, Worries, Perspective, Solutions, and Remembering

Solution 1: Remember Your Children’s True Identity

Applying what we know about where our children came from and discovering their unique, eternal personalities

Understanding that our children are actually our spiritual siblings causes us to respect them as well as love them. And we can apply this advantage to issues of self esteem, peer pressure, bullying, development of talents and potential, sibling rivalry, safety, insecurity, and more.

· Practical ways to extend and receive respect

· Knowing kids individually, accurately recognizing unique gifts and challenges

· Getting rid of guilt and understanding that you are not “starting from scratch”

· “Remember who you are” and helping kids make decisions in advance

· Pre-emptive strikes to put gospel perspective in as the foundation

· A book to give your kids on their wedding day (about them)


Solution 2 Remember God’s Parenting Patterns:

Following the supreme example of how God parents us

The best model for parenthood is the one that God himself has set, and we know so well that eternal story of teaching us all He could in our pre-mortal home and then giving us our agency. Following God’s parenting pattern comes into play as we help our kids with learning to work, being responsible, handling money, being motivated and disciplined and more.

· Learning and teaching unconditional love

· Holding them close and then letting them go

· Agency and choices

· Trusting our kids, and being trustworthy

· Giving Stewardship for clothes, toys, goals, grades, conflicts, choices, values

· Enjoying each other and living for “moments”

· Teaching values

· Clear laws, complete with rewards and punishments


Solution 3: Remember the Access that comes with Stewardship Understanding that we are mere mortal babysitters who can appeal directly to the real Parent

What prayer could be more appropriate and more effective than the one that essentially says, “Please help me to understand and raise these, your children.”

There are many opportunities and applications for this special prayer connection regarding rebellion, values, inactivity or apathy, individual discipline and more.

· A powerful and unique kind of prayer

· No links in the chain between us and God

· Listening and taking notes during prayer

· Family prayers and variations, Couples prayers and variations

· Receiving council from leaders and help from friends

· Prayer with small children

· Fasting (rejoicing) and Prayer

Solution 4:  Remember the Church’s “Scaffolding”
Taking full advantage of all the help, support and guidance the Church and its programs offer

Church programs, teachers, advisors and “the ward family” can stand around us like an entourage, loving and serving our kids, and backing up every value and principle we teach; and Prophets sound a sure voice in an uncertain world. President Lee called the Church “the scaffolding that helps us build Eternal Families. Here are ways of applying this back-up and support to challenges of selfishness and sensitivity, growing up too fast, resolving past mistakes, learning the joy of service and more.

· The ‘general contractor’ approach, uses and cautions

· Maximizing resources, from teachers to programs

· Family oriented every-day perspective

· Priesthood leaders as surrogate parents

· Dinner time classes

· Upgraded family home meetings and scripture study

· Coordinating with the staff—debriefing after lessons, camps, etc.

Solution 5: Remember the Savior’s Power

His Spirit to guide, His Atonement to save, and His Priesthood to Bless our Children

The Holy Ghost can help us see what our eyes can’t, Christ’s example and atonement can guide our every move, and using the Priesthood to bless our children and magnify our families brings the actual and literal power of God into our very households and into our children’s lives. There are specific ways in which we can apply these unspeakable advantages more often to challenges with decisions and choices, with values, with insecurities and depression, and more

· Priesthood Blessings

· Seeking and following promptings

· Creating a spiritual atmosphere in your home

· Scripture and Testimonies as gauges and measures

· The motivation of the Atonement

· The Model of Christ

· Rejoicing and appreciating “moments”

15 comments:

  1. I think the book looks like it will be great, and I have to say how much I enjoy checking in on your blog. YEARS ago I used to watch a show called Mormon Times (I think) on BYU's PBS station, and your parents would do a segment on it. I loved their advice and have implemented much of it in my parenting. And although I now have 2 adult(ish) children, two teenagers, and an (almost) tweenager, I still struggle with parenting solutions because every child is SO different.

    I appreciate how you share YOUR parenting (and not-so-perfect parenting) too.

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  2. I have several of your parents' books, and have loved every one. This one is really exciting because it does pertain directly to us, as LDS parents. Love it!
    By the way, I've had pneumonia for a couple of weeks so things have been pretty slow going around here, but I wanted you to know that I did get my beautiful Temple picture, and I LOVE IT! As soon as I get it framed the way I want it, I'll send a picture.
    Thank you so much!
    Ashley

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  3. awesome. i'm super excited to read the book and put some of their ideas to practice.

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  4. I love your parents books. This one looks especially promising and one that I will definitely look forward to putting into practice with my family. I read every one of your blogs and look forward to it. They brighten my day and give me a gratefulness for my responsibility as a mother. Thank you!

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  6. I loved reading this and can't wait to pick the book up when it's out. I also wanted to tell you that I featured another part of your home on my blog last week! Your home is so beautiful! p.s. i didn't mean to delete the last one my two year old is "helping" me!

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  7. Wow, sounds fabulous!! I'm especially excited to read more about solution 1. Kinda curious what the pre-emptive strikes are? Also, I like how they are including respect...so needed in today's world(: Every one of your parents books are very well done and easy to understand. I will definately look forward to the release of this book in Spring..woo hoo!!! Thanks!

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  8. I am so excited to get the book....

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  9. Wow what great themes and ideas. Definitely a book I'd be interested in reading and I'm catholic but would really benefit from a lot of the topics. Anything to make me a better parent and better person!

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  10. Just the outline brought tears to my eyes. I am really looking forward to this book. I think one of this kind is very needed...I love your parent's style so that mixed with gospel perspective is just wonderful! Thanks!

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  11. It sounds wonderful and I'm very excited to read the whole thing! I'm on the last chapter of the book you wrote with your mom...LOVE it! Thank you for sharing your blog with us, too. :)

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  12. I’m sure that writing a book is a daunting task in so many ways. So much information to choose from, and the goal of wanting to produce something that ultimately is going to help people be better for having read it, is a challenging order to fill. But, your parent’s books always inspire and never disappoint. My mom read many of them when she was raising me and has since passed them on to me. I am even a Joy School Graduate. :) I recently found some old boxes from my childhood and found an old joy school picture. A “Mrs. Eyre” was listed as one of the teachers. I wonder if she is of any relation to you? I remember attending the joy school in Logan, UT in 1985. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I have one thought in relation to this new book your parents are writing. (And this is such a humble little opinion and I mean it with complete sincerity and don’t want to sound like I’m being critical at all and….if I could play some sort of happy music as you read this so it sounds less critical I totally would!) Okay then…

    I am very excited to read this new book BUT as I was reading through the “Solutions” number 3 had me do a double take.

    Solution 3: Remember the Access that comes with Stewardship Understanding that we are mere mortal babysitters who can appeal directly to the real Parent.

    I think the use of the word “babysitter” could be changed to something more personal. Perhaps, “mortal stewards entrusted to care for...” or “guardian” or even simply, “mortal parent”. Babysitter is the last thing I want my kids to think of me as. I feel like I am so much more to them than that. I can completely understand where your parents are going with this. I realize my little ones were His long before they were mine and they are just on loan to me for a season but….when I think of my relationship with them, the calling of “Mother” goes far and beyond that of the hired help of “babysitter”. (cue super happy music here!)

    Just a thought.

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  14. Kylene, THANK YOU for validating what my sisters and I have told my Dad a few times. (Now he'll really believe us ;) I don't think you can ever compare a "mother" to a "babysitter." (I think they were going for more of a shock factor.) But I do think that was taken out this summer and hadn't reflected on what I posted here.

    Mrs. Eyre is my Grandma. She was the first real Joy School teacher and it sounds like you went to the first real Joy School. I'm sure she'd want me to tell you hi!

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  15. Looks amazing. I love your parents' books, especially "A Joyful Mother of Children." I can't wait to read this one.

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