Wednesday, September 30, 2009

separation troubles

Many have asked about Lucy's school adjustment, so here you go:

Yesterday when Lucy's school bus drove up she ran over to it yelling, "my bus! my bus!" completely full of glee. She marched up those huge bus steps all by herself, turned around to me and said, "bye, Mom" with a huge smile on her face and proceeded to let the bus driver buckle her in next to a new friend she started to "talk" to. She blew Claire and me some kisses as the bus pulled out.

I tell you this because it's a little bit of a miracle to me. You see, last week was pure agony for both of us. Lucy had what her teacher classified as "severe separation issues" (in an e-mail she cc'd me that she had written to the bus driver in hopes of alleviating some of Lu's stress). I had to pry her off of my body the first couple days. Neither of us liked that one bit.

To make matters worse, on the second day of school Lucy's teacher announced that she needed to wear lace-up shoes...no more crocs. Wait. Let me say that one more time for emphasis: No more crocs. Hmmmm. Now, if anyone knows Lucy, they know that Lucy eats, sleeps, and bathes in those things. This was not going to be easy.

So the next morning as Lu and I were both in tears trying to get her to stand up in some old lace-up tennis shoes I found in the back of the closet that I think every one of my girls had already worn into the ground (I can't find anything else that will fit her chubby little feet), I wondered to myself if we were really doing the right thing sending this girl to school. Why was I doing this to my baby when I really wanted her with me anyway?

We gave up on the shoes, slipped her crocs back on and had our first try on the bus. That was a giant failure too. There wasn't a chance in the world she was going to let me leave her on that bus (and there wasn't a chance I was going to make her do it after the shoe episode). No way.

So I drove her to school with my sunglasses hiding my tears and left her there laying on the ground bawling while reaching for me calling my name. (The teacher assured me she'd be fine and that it'd be best for me to leave.) Man, I'll tell you what, that was sad. I went over again and again in my mind why we were doing this and why it would really help Lucy but it didn't make me feel much better.

It was an extra blow when Claire (who's classroom happens to be right next door to Lucy's) sat at the dinner table that night and told us that she couldn't hear her teacher very well that morning because Lucy was screaming so loud next door. No, that didn't help matters. Not at all.

Luckily for us, Lu has an outstanding teacher. She has been in constant contact with me letting me know the play-by-play of each day. It turns out that she was able to get her "school shoes" on her after she calmed down (miracle of all miracles), and that she was fine after that. She came home on the bus totally happy...a different little girl.

And it's just been better and better from there on out. She's loving life as a school girl. Yesterday she even let me put on her school shoes and didn't ask once for crocs.

I am so thankful:
1) that last week is over
2) that Lu has such a great teacher
3) that we may be on the verge of getting rid of crocs...there's got to be something cuter out there for chubby feet!
4) that Lucy seems so happy
5) that I can already see differences in how she communicates...this is going to be SO good for her
6) that I get to be her Mom.

11 comments:

  1. Seperation is not easy. We went through this with my oldest and it lastest til she was 10.

    You are amazing!

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  2. Isn't it amazing that children and parents can adjust to things which seem completely, totally insurmountable?

    I could sense your strong emotions as I read through, and Lucy's as well. I can imagine the feelings of relief you are having this week!

    You have such a beautiful family! Thanks for sharing!

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  3. My kids all have chubby feet - try Payless. For some reason my kids feet seemed to fit a lot better in their shoes. Good luck! Congratulations on making it through this last week! You deserve a medal! :)

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  4. you have no idea how happy this makes me. i've been thinking about it ever since you came over last week and told me how claire could hear her crying. i knew it was tearing you up. aren't great teachers the biggest blessing. it sounds like lucy has one of the gems. i'm so happy for you...and lu.

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  5. This post was just what I needed. My little boy is going through major separation issues too, and it tears me apart. You gave me the encouragement I needed to stick with saying goodbye and leaving (although I'm sure when the moment comes it will be harder than I thought) You are such an inspiration...Lucy is lucky to have such an amazing mommy.

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  6. thanks for filling us in shaser. i am so happy to hear that she is doing well...and that you are doing well too.
    i am getting excited for ana and cam to go to the same school.

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  7. So glad things are going better. What a precious little girl!!! Hang in there Mommy!

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  8. I dont usually leave comments, but I just had to comment on this. Our stories are so similar. My child doesnt have a disorder like Lu, he has speech issues and HAD severe anxiety, social and separation issues. We also decided to send him to the same preschool just last year because we knew it would be the best thing for him. He had the same fits and melt downs that you have talked about. Speaking from experience, his teachers said the best thing to do was to give him a kiss at the door, say goodbye and walk away. SOOO hard. He kicked and screamed and I was seriously worried he would hurt his teachers. After a few days, we tried the bus. Complete miracle-he walked right on and never looked back. This preschool has changed him in all aspects. He is social, he could care less when we leave and his fits and melt downs are non-existant(well, I guess not completely gone-he is still 4 afterall). I just know that Lucy will have the same positive effects-it seems like she already has! Feel confident in your decision because it will be the best thing for her.

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  9. Not my little Lucy. It is surreal to see the family side of the exact same programs I am working in. I am glad that things are going better with preschool.

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  10. I've been reading your blog for a few months but I think this is my first comment. I'm single/no kids but love reading how others live their lives.

    I am just amazed at your strength -- seriously! You are just incredible to have made it through this very difficult day and I'm glad you were able to be "rewarded" with a happy child getting off that bus that afternoon. Love your perspective on life and your photos too. Oh and when I read your later post about how you were sprucing up your kitchen and saw the pics I thought "what on earth needed sprucing up in that perfect kitchen???" LOL. Then I saw the before's and felt a tiny bit better. ;) Hope you have a great day!

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  11. Shit it was really a bad incident happened.

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    ReplyDelete

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