Tuesday, January 20, 2009

battle of the wills

I find it so interesting how Lucy can seem to get across exactly what she wants even when she can't say much. Things like how she has to listen to Scripture Scouts every time we go anywhere in the car (she adores that dog in it). Or how she hates to take off her jammies...she would wear them all day every day if I'd let her. Or how she won't let me put my hands on the front of the cart at Costco or the grocery store...I have to pull the cart around to where we need to go rather than pushing it.

In other words...she's got a strong will. Wait, have I said that before? I know all two-year-olds do, but in my book Lu takes the cake.

Anyway, Dave and I are trying to be super on-top-of-things with Lucy's therapy. We want to do everything we can to help her progress at this stage where she seems to be picking up on things like a sponge. SO, I asked the physical therapist to give us some "homework" assignments to specifically work on as a family.

Top thing on the list:
Don't carry her everywhere.

I reminded her: this is Lucy we're talking about. She 1) doesn't come on command, and 2) she isn't a direction follower. I find myself carrying her everywhere because if I let her walk it takes 25 minutes to walk to the car in a parking lot or to maneuver her upstairs to take a nap. And I'm always hurrying (any mother of a two-year-old can relate, right?).

She told me in a very mater-of-fact way: "Just slow down."

Well, I don't know that she understands how hard that's gonna be, but I do know she sure has a point. It's time to get that girl walking...all the time.

So, I just thought I'd share some pictures from our first day of the being-tough, stick-to-my-guns making-her-walk day:So far, I'm thinking this isn't going to be a piece of cake.This was her fourth pavement-hugging style tantrum of the day, and this particular one had about five rounds before I gave up, lugged her up onto my hip in pure frustration, and headed in to watch the tail end of Gracie's tennis class I had been really looking forward to finally getting a chance to watch.
Tally in the "battle of the wills" so far:
Lucy: 14
Shawni: 0


  1. OH! But she's SO stinking cute!!!

  2. You don't know me, but we were was in Boston with Saren and Jared, we have so many different friend connections - Boston with Sara and Brett Graham, VT to Brigitta Hair, etc. I came across your blog.

    I had to comment. I totally laughed at your pictures. I can totally relate and know how frustrating it is with little independent ones - I have four of my own that are just like their dad.

    Hang in there! You have to document it because you can then go back and reflect and laugh!

  3. I don't think I have laughed so hard at a picture before. Bless you Shawni!! You are an amazing mother. Lucy is adorable, even if she is sitting in a parking lot. :) Darcy

  4. those pictures are hilarious, and i'm so glad that you found the humor in it to take those pictures. i really do feel for you. hang in there.

  5. Shawni,

    She is a hoot! You obviously have your hands full. I feel for you. Those pictures sure did put a smile on my face! You are such an amazing mom!

  6. stick to your guns Shawni. I am going through the same thing right now with bedtime and crying fits. It sucks but everyone tells me that eventually i will be happy I did this!

  7. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I laughed so hard at those great pictures. It looks kind of fun to just lay plastered to the warm pavement, without moving at all. (And advice from the professionals is ALWAYS easier said than done!)

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  9. Are strollers an option?!!? Impressed that you were in the state of mind to actually take a photo! That's impressive! I wonder if you could practice "walking" at times when you really don't have to be somewhere. That might allow everyone the space needed to not get upset. Could she go play with a friend sometimes instead of trying to keep pace with all the big kid activities? Keep up the patience and good work!

  10. I can relate! It's so frustrating at times. I remember feeling so anxious everytime I took Sawyer to preschool, because it meant getting Charlie out of the carseat, which meant FOREVER before he'd get back in. And, I was pregnant with #4 and not really in the mood to wrestle with a 2 year old.

  11. Of course, you and the therapist know best...but here's my two cents. I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Lucy will walk - I promise you. Just like every kid gets potty trained eventually. I just wonder if it's really that big of a deal. We definitely need to be firm and stand our ground when it affects others, like with biting and such. But with my own kids (one being a very strongwilled girl at two) we've tried to relax a little bit and realize that each kid is different and needs different things and to just enjoy the moment. Enjoy your beloved because all to soon she'll be walking everywhere and you'll wish you could carry her just one more time.

  12. Reminds me of being at brunch with Jillian this morning... we're visiting with friends who traveled in from Kansas... trying to squeeze in as much adult conversation as possible before they leave, and Jillian is sitting in a booster seat rather than a highchair because there was no room at our booth for a highchair. So frustrating. I love, love, love this kid, but man. When they have an idea, it's tough to get your way. Ie- booster seats are really booster ladders, right???

    Good luck with the walking thing... maybe one of those little monkey backpack/leashes would help? I know, that sounds awful... lol

    I'm glad you could find the humor and take a photo... and just remember- hopefully she will be done with all this pavement diving before it's 100+ degrees out, and you could fry an egg on that asphalt!

  13. ha ha ha those are so funny, but i know they are hard for you. good thing you had her wear black that day. that is so weird about the hands on the cart thing, because cam used to do the same thing. i finally just had to stop taking him with me until he grew out of it.

  14. Shawni!

    I dont' mean to laugh at your expense, but I got so many giggles from this post. Probably because it hit so close to home, in so many ways. Haven't we all been in that dreadful place when someone offers up (what seems to be) some simple advice for better parenting that ultimately ends up as one giant headache that really goes down in the books as a true disaster! You are a true warrior and I am proud of you. In my eyes, you lobbed a few points for yourself in the "battle of the wills". You have great patience, determine, and especially heart! I think you are such a fabulous mama! Keep going lady! Lucy is so blessed to have you in her life! Someday, when she is walking in your shoes, she will have so much admiration for all that you did on her behalf.

    Kristin Esplin

  15. Oh my gosh I know I always say I love the pictures of Lucy but these take the cake! She is so stinking funny!
    Good luck!!! Good Luck!

  16. I guess you could say she makes your life interesting? Never a dull moment with Lucy. Good thing she is so darn cute, that you just have to love her. Good luck with the battle. Hope you score a few points.

  17. That DOESN'T look fun, but it made me laugh so hard I got tears in my eyes!

    A friend told me about a book that keep meaning to check out--"You Can't Make Me . . . But I Can Be Persuaded." I don't know if the book would be of any use to you, but your post sure made me think of the title (at least the first part, haha!).

  18. she was given the perfect mother...patient and kind to all...

    loved, loved, loved the street shots.

  19. these pictures are so funny. I totally know what you mean about the whole strong willed 2 year old. I say keep trying, she will get there. Sophie will NOT let me brush her hair...EVER. Kids know exactly how to get their way that is for sure. What fun pictures to look back at and laugh! It will be funny at some point.

  20. She is soo cute! And I love that you didn't even freak out about her laying on pavement. Shows you're an experienced mama!

    The Play to Talk book I emailed you about is working sooo well with Sam. I know you don't have time for another book but it is worth it. It addresses behavior and talking. I'm sure you can find it on Amazon. I'd do it next day air!

    One strategy that comes to mind to use in a situation like that -
    1. Be silent
    2. Look away
    3. Do this for only about 10 seconds
    4. Then pay attention again
    5. Prompt the child to do what you want
    6. If the child misbehaves again, immediately and silently repeat steps 1-5.
    This teaches your child that he loses your verbal and visual attention when he misbehaves.

    Obviously easier said than done...and still takes time...but it's a thought. Good luck!

  21. Stick to your guns!! You can do it!!!

  22. oh goodness. That makes me tired just reading about it. you sure are a stalwart!

  23. Hahaha...I just can't resist your blog, for reasons such as this. Lucy is so darn cute, and I love her fire. Good luck on bein' tough. That is NO easy task!

  24. Oh shawni you kill me. Don't know what else to say besides, good luck with that! At least she's adorable and she gives you hilarious blog posts that make us all laugh!

  25. lol.
    oh my...
    you poor mom!
    little Lucy doesnt know how good she has it :)

    i hope your tally goes up in the coming weeks... good luck!

  26. Wow! Bless her little heart! She's so stinkin cute even when she pouts!

  27. Oh, I totally have the solution for that one...don't go anywhere. Works like a charm at our house :)

  28. Hey, I'm a first time poster, long time reader. I found your blog thru the Linton's that you took their family picture of. Anyway. I love your cute posts and your cute family.

    I seriously want to get a shirt that says "I love Lucy" and it's not the t.v. lucy I'm talking about. I love every post about Lucy that you do. She brightens my day along with the rest of your adorable children.

  29. I had to laugh! I only wish I had my camera or hands free enough to take a picture when times like these come! Thanks for sharing. If that is one thing I have learned from having a very busy 3 year old boy and a 2 year old girl with tons of sass (20 months apart), is that I just need to slow down. I've just recently come to terms with it and have decided that that is Heavenly Father's gift to us moms when he sends us these young ones. We are often just doing to much and they force us to keep it simple! My mom always says to start writing these moments down, because I'm going to miss them when they are gone. Way to capture the moment!


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